I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
