Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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