This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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