we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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