Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
