I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
