HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
