worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
