when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
