So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
