I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
