Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
