Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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