great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
