i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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