I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
