how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize