when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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