going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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