There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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