My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
