Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
