Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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