Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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