I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
