Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So much rum. So many feels.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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