it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
