I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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