Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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