so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
