your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
