She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize