I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This house was built for laser tag.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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