there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
