Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
