my mouth tastes like poor choices
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
