Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
