Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
