My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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