No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Help. Why am I so naked?
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