btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
