We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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