You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
