I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
