Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
