I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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