it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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