Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
