Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The best revenge is premature balding
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Randomize
