you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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