Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
