why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
