i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Randomize