My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
