i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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