i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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