she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize