I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
