I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
